CLASS OF 1968 | 2024 | SUMMER ISSUE

Greetings, Class of ’68! Several of your classmates have shared for this issue:

Dave Gruol reported on two things. He is part of “a weekly Zoom that includes myself, Pete Hardin, Ray Solomon, Dick Emerson, Ron Schroeder, Craig Dodd, and Jacques LeGette . . . . [It]began during COVID as a way to ease the tension of a difficult time [and] continues to this day. Personal news and humor are encouraged, while politics, for the most part, is not. So far, so good.

“Craig Dodd and I will attend Jacques’s inclusion ceremony for the Baseball Wall of Fame on April 27. Unfortunately, because of a previous commitment, Jacques will not be able to attend himself. One of the things bandied about on a recent Zoom was whether or not Jacques had pitched to Steve Garvey, now the Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate in California. Steve played for Michigan State when we faced them in Florida in the spring of 1968. Of course, we had no idea at the time that he would go on to star for the Dodgers and Padres.”

Paul Spitzer wrote that he is well and is writing an ecologist’s memoir, entitled Dark of the Loon, about his 30 years of loon study along the Atlantic and Gulf Coasts. Paul says, “Christine and I have lived for 30 years in our old farmhouse by the Choptank River, Maryland Eastern Shore of the Chesapeake. We have a big garden and celebrate culture and nature in our region. I write about my lifelong bird ecology studies.” In April Paul was the keynote speaker at the Colonial Beach, Virginia, spring Osprey Festival. Paul also says that if you Google “Paul Spitzer Ospreys” or “Paul Spitzer Loons,” you’ll find his studies and teachings from across the years.

Paul, in the evening, by his Choptank River, Maryland, home.

Sam Davidson had some unfortunate news: “I wanted to let you know that Davidson Galleries was set on fire by a homeless person trying to keep warm in the alley behind my space on January 12.  We are still trying to find the extent of work lost of the 14,000 works in inventory at the time. I hope that we can reopen in May or June. Onward!”  http://www.davidsongalleries.com

Bob Knox wrote, “First, I want to honor Lloyd Buzzell as a friend for life. He contributed immensely to all of our lives, bringing us together for over 50 years with his constant good humor and diligence. I hope we can carry on with the cohesion that he created among us.  

“Second, I want to share the news that following our wonderful reunion last spring, John Mergendoller and I have organized a bi-monthly Zoom gathering of classmates so that we can continue to share personal news, plans, and projects with each other. If you are interested in joining us, please email me at bob@robertfknox.com so I can send you the Zoom link for our next gathering.  Cheers to all.—Bob”    

CLASS OF 1968 | 2024 | SPRING ISSUE

As many of you know, Lloyd Buzzell died last August. Your scribe for more than 40 years, Lloyd was one of the first recipients of a Wesleyan University Service Award in 1988. We extend our sincere condolences to his wife, Judith, their son, Joshua (Emma), grandson Ben, and friends.

Several of you sent in tributes to Lloyd. Phil Calhoun ’62 wrote:

“Lloyd developed his competitive rowing skills at Kent School at age 13, then, in 1964, brought those considerable skills to Wesleyan, where he was instrumental to the establishment of a Wesleyan rowing program. Lloyd ended his rowing career by competing in Boston’s Head of the Charles Regatta on his 63rd birthday. Fifty years of devotion to rowing is a testament to his indomitable spirit.

“Lloyd was an integral part of our family’s early life. He babysat our two daughters on numerous occasions, dined with us often, and most especially was a dear friend.

“Lloyd, using his wry sense of humor and exceptional writing skills, served as 1968’s class secretary for 40 years, with his final entry weeks before his death in August 2023.
Intellectually, he wrote many letters to the editor of his local New Haven newspaper, challenging causes he felt unworthy and supporting humanitarian efforts that lifted up those less fortunate than himself. He spent years teaching writing skills as a means of engaging incarcerated prisoners and providing them with insights into their lives, as well as hope for their futures.

“Lloyd’s special and endearing spirit, along with his infectious laugh, will be missed by the many folks who had the privilege of knowing him.”

From Bob Reisfeld:

A Tribute and Thanks to Lloyd Buzzell

“Dear fellow members of the Wesleyan Class of ’68:  

“Just a brief but hopefully meaningful comment about our classmate, friend, and longtime class secretary, Lloyd Buzzell. Of course, each of us have our own memories and personal experiences of Lloyd. Some of us never knew him personally, and some of us had closer ties to him over the years. I was one who didn’t know him well at all during our years at Wesleyan but got to know and appreciate him through his class notes and unflagging attendance at our class reunions. If anything or anyone kept our class connected in any way after we left the campus, it was Lloyd. He was kind, thoughtful, loving, playful, deep, fun, and accepting of us all. He found a way for us to share information with and about each other, based only on what we wrote to him, no matter our similarities or differences. He was nonjudgmental in his reports of us and allowed us to stay connected in some ethereal and uncritical way. For that, I think that we are all grateful to him. I know I am.”

And from Sandy See:

“Dear Guys, 

“I had been in touch with Lloyd and was aware of his declining health. He dealt with it openly and with acceptance. No woe-is-me for him, just lots of gratitude for the life he had been given. He kept an eye on Wesleyan, calling out praise and criticism as he saw it. He felt and expressed appreciation and love for us all, casting a glow over his time with us at Wes as we proceeded from boys to men. And he was never going to let us forget his stalwart rowing crewmates who made us so proud of their achievements in major races over the years. 

“Thank you for your friendship and service, Lloyd. We were fortunate to know you.”

Neil Rossman wrote in for the first time. He said, “I never sent any news to class notes over the years because . . . well, just because. However, after reading the archived notes which were sent today and being saddened by reading for the first time of the deaths of many classmates and friends, I thought I ought to send something before I, too, appear as an obit. Back in the day, I handled 480 Dalkon Shield IUD cases and was a director of the Claimant’s Committee in the A. H. Robins Bankruptcy. I tried and won the last case which preceded the bankruptcy filing and testified as an ‘expert witness’ before the court on the nature of settlements. I also changed the entire fire apparatus industry in this country when I tried and won the Tynan v. Pirsch case in the U.S. District Court in Boston in late 1985. It resulted in all fire trucks having to have four doors with individual seating and seat belts for all members of the crew. It was, and I believe still is, the largest verdict (as opposed to a settlement) for an injured firefighter in the country. I also tried another firefighter case in Waterbury, which was ultimately overturned by the Connecticut Supreme Court, but which forced additional safety standards regarding the securing of all tools and equipment in the cabin to be secured, lest they fly about in a crash or rollover. I was asked to serve on the NFPA so-called “1500 Committee,” which wrote all of the safety and health standards for the fire service including fire ground incident command, safety officer, etc. I also was asked to speak to fire service groups around the country and Canada, at last count 55 times. I’m in my 51st year of practice and hoping to retire (sometime?). I don’t golf or sail anymore, but I do run a 37-foot commercial lobster boat out of Marblehead and fish 180 traps from May to Thanksgiving. Best, Neil”

Bill Heckman sent in his first update in over 50 years!:

Hi from the Wild West! . . . . I’m a proud survivor of ‘Norwines Revenge’ Class of ’68, and happy to send you this update. Good to read about so many ex-classmates, but sad so many have crossed over  . . . may they all find peace.

“Finally retired five years ago and living six and six in Arizona, between Scottsdale winters and Flagstaff summers, at 6,600 feet—for perfect year-round happiness. Three kids, four grands, [and] one great-granddaughter; much world travel (over 60 countries) . . .  a grand life!

“Although I’ve done well as a retail executive for half of my career and as a marketing rep for the rest, every place I worked no longer exists. Entire industries have vanished and I worry for the coming generations adapting to new realities.

“Sending big HELLO to any who might remember me and especially to Dave Cain, Jeff Camp ’70, Warren Williams, Rick Hammer ’69, Cami  Billmyer ’67, John Phillips ’69, and Dave Webb. Hope all are well!

“Best wishes for happiness, good health, and much enjoyment in our twilight years!”

Kenneth Schweller said he continues“to work on developing 3D video games for bonobos, chimpanzees, rhesus monkeys, and baboons. The goal of our team is to study their spatial navigation abilities and their cooperation and competition strategies. Our latest work is with 30 baboons at the Southwest National Primate Center where we will be doing a long-term study of the cognitive deficits that characterize Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Thirty baboons will be tested (noninvasively) over their life span to assess their navigation abilities as they search for hidden food in a virtual touch-screen environment, a task that places a high demand on memory and problem-solving. We hope to discover which of our tasks might be predictive of later impairment with the goal of developing similar diagnostic tools for humans.”

Bob Svensk sent in this headline: Bill Gerber ’86 won the first selectman race in Fairfield, Connecticut, last fall, beating the incumbent by 42 votes.

Henry St. Maurice said he was “sorry to learn about Lloyd’s passing. He was indeed an exemplary class secretary. My note is as follows:

“I am semiretired from higher education, doing what I chose when granted emeritus status at the University of Wisconsin–Stevens Point in 2009. I serve on doctoral committees for that institution and for Edgewood College, supervise student teachers, and do freelance editing for researchers submitting manuscripts for peer reviews. I also serve on the Columbia County Board of Supervisors, Frank Lloyd Wright in Wisconsin Incorporated, and the Aldo Leopold Foundation. Anyone who’d like to visit our local points of interest would be welcome to be our guest in the home that Wright designed for Mary’s parents in 1954.

“A high point of the past year was presenting her bachelor’s diploma to our daughter Emma, who is now a teacher in a nearby middle school. Her brother, our firstborn, is a contract specialist for Uncle Sam in Washington State. 

From left to right: Marty Loy, Dean of the College of Professional Studies at the University of Wisconsin—Stevens Point, Emma St. Maurice, Class of 2022 in the UWSP School of Education, and Professor Emeritus of Education Henry St. Maurice

“Best wishes to all my fellow Wesleyan alums, especially those who roomed with me in Casa Pandolfo at 124 Main Street. —Henry”

Mark J. Estren shared: “From one of my last communications with Lloyd: ‘I have been working with people in ALFs (and hospice) for years and know you have had a significant adjustment on many levels. Also, my girlfriend, a CNA, is a trained expert at assisting people with ADLs (activities of daily living). Expectations modest (but not gone altogether) is one of the keys. You are in the right headspace for this.’ Lloyd then suggested I sum up my own current life in 100 words. I wrote exactly that number for him to include in our class notes. He did not get the chance, but here they are:

“I, your youngest classmate, just turned 75. Uh-oh. Still writing on investments, health care, and more—latest book, One Toke to God, explores spiritual properties of cannabis. Also consult as psychotherapist at nonprofit Christian life-care community, Shell Point, and post weekly at www.infodad.com about kids’ books and classical music—thousands of my reviews online. Hobby: herpetology rescues—currently six turtles and a bearded dragon. Significant other, Bev, works in pediatric ICU at Golisano Children’s Hospital. Daughter, Meredith (Duke engineering undergraduate/London Business School MBA), is CEO of travel concierge firm Albertine, and a Kensington Symphony violist. Life in 100 words!”

From Larry Tondel: “I happily retired from my law practice involving complex securities and structured derivatives transactions through big law in NYC (Sidley Austin LLP) when I turned 70 and now split my time with my wife of almost 50 years between our lake house in New Hampshire and our homestead of 45 years in Cresskill, New Jersey. I serve as trustee of several organizations and enjoy my leisure time and lots of travel. The knees have finally given out after too many injuries, so I am relegated to kayaking and scuba. Days of 1968 are a different world from 2023 . . . I cherish my memories of Wesleyan ’68 and Michigan ’71 (where I went for law school).”

CLASS OF 1968 | 2023 | FALL ISSUE

With the birth of Ben Barnett Buzzell in Seattle on June 1st, Judy and I became grandparents.

As I anticipate entering hospice care shortly, I expect this will be my final set of class notes. It has been a joy and a privilege to serve as your secretary.

Take care, guys.

From left to right: ’68 classmates Harrison Knight (bow man), Bob Svensk (engine room), and Nason Hamlin (stroke) at the XXI Royal Henley Paddle at the Leander Club in Henley, England, in May 2023. Bob noted that they first stepped into a boat together in the spring of 1965.

CLASS OF 1968 | 2023 | SUMMER ISSUE

I remember the quick and the dead: Bill Eaton ’69 saying he wanted to be a professor because it wouldn’t interfere with his afternoon naps. Going to a street fair in Mystic with Phil Calhoun ’62, MALS ’69, his wife Janet, and their young daughters. Nat Greene finishing his high-speed lectures on the minute. Virginia Kimball-Cooke dancing with Bill Smith at a reunion of Uranus and the Five Moons. Playing house ball with Sandy Blount ’66 and many others. (The only game we lost was to an assemblage of Amherst All-Stars.) Bill Barber—a gentleman and a (Rhodes) scholar—giving me a B even though I got sick in the middle of his final and couldn’t finish. Long conversations with Geoff Gallas’s mother when visiting Geoff and Boo Gallas ’69 (two classic Southern California surfers/lifeguards) with Wink Wilder in 1967. On that same trip, Will Macoy ’67 and I bumped into Geoff Tegnell in Haight-Ashbury. Jim Weinstein’s ’69 love of opera. George Creeger assigning Henry James’s The Golden Bowl saying he hadn’t read it himself and should. In time, when I told him I’d given up on it (too long; too dense), he acknowledged having trouble keeping up with his own assignments. Dave Losee reminding me, on multiple occasions, I’m something of a crackpot. (It is not like he doesn’t have his quirks).

I saw Bob Carter ’70. We suffered through a harsh boarding school together and shared improbable antics on the Upper West Side in 1971. From whence he went on to a Mexican road-building crew in Wyoming, graduate school, a white-collar career, a full and happy life in Newton. Presently volunteering with an organization that helps seniors stay in their homes. Two boys: a doc and a forest ranger. One of Raquel Welch’s early roles was as Jerry Martin’s ’69 babysitter. At the holidays, I got a touching miniessay from Wig Sherman on our time of life. In his holiday card, Bill van den Berg mused on getting older and said he’s volunteering with an organization trying to reform the antediluvian rules of Pennsylvania’s state legislature. Dave Garrison ’67 reported having a blast playing his euphonium along with 640 other players at a Kansas City Christmas event, the largest gathering of tubas in the country. With a doctorate from Johns Hopkins and a string of varied publications, he taught Romance Languages at Wright State in Dayton for 40 years. Married to a poet/novelist/lawyer, he was Ohio Poet of the Year in 2014 and has just published his sixth book of poetry, Light in the River. I particularly liked a line from a piece called “Men at Seventy”:

They have a lot to remember,

more than they have to look forward to.

Reading through his volume, I was struck by how much courage it takes to be a poet.

We lost Steve Berman in January to lymphoma. A committed Jew, Steve introduced Sandy See to shicksas, matzo, and Manischewitz. Sandy remembers him as a bright, warm, gangly guy who would walk about with a serious look until he made some wisecrack with wild, wide eyes and huge laughter that shook his shoulders. After two years in Cali, Colombia, he spent a distinguished career as a pediatrician at Denver’s Children Hospital involved with global pediatric health; as a one-time president of the American Academy of Pediatrics; as an author of a basic text; and as a beloved mentor.

Personally, this summer will be two years in assisted living and I’m here for the duration. While my overall health is quite good, after some falls and breaks, I can’t walk and need help with daily tasks. So, it is the right place for me. Pleasant enough provided I  keep my expectations modest. Did a couple of op-eds for The New Haven Register. (One on the politicized Supreme Court and the other on the problems with financing higher education through student loans). Judy is nearby and visits regularly. My being here allows her a semi-normal life. (She even went to Morocco.) Overall, it is what it is.

CLASS OF 1968 | 2023 | SPRING ISSUE

Cornered Joel Lang, author/journalist (four decades at the Hartford Courant), now semiretired in Bridgeport. One of his last projects at the Courant was a special, 80-page section on slavery in the North, which sounded like a precursor to the NYT, Pulitzer-winning 1619 Project. Became a book, Complicity: How the North Promoted, Prolonged, and Profited from Slavery, which was both critically acclaimed and given four or five stars by 95% of its Amazon readers. Joel researched 19th-century logs of the British Navy’s pursuit of illegal slavers at Olin. Acknowledged indebtedness/inspiration to professors Richard Slotkin of American Studies and English’s George Creeger. Noted Middletown was a busy port in the slave trade and home to a large population of enslaved people.

Dave Losee observed you have to have something to retire to, not simply from: An attorney still working one big case, he is now a beekeeper—30,000 new friends in his backyard (in Camden, Maine) is how he puts it. Chris Thomas, a retired family doc in Meadville, Pennsylvania, and an astronomer, “feels very much at one with the night sky . . .  who often stops to think someone in that galaxy is in my eyepiece looking back at me.” His son shares his passion. Wallace Murfit rowed in two of the world’s greatest regattas: England’s Royal Henley Regatta and the Head of the Charles in 2022.

John Carty (a self-employed attorney and businessman) agrees with Trump on one point— “When you retire, you expire”—and is redoing his house to age in place. Lives near Villanova where he participates in their Senior Enrichment Program and various cultural offerings. A heart surgery graduate who, if he’d known how much fun grandchildren were, would have skipped children completely. Wheelchair bound, Lloyd Buzzell has been in assisted living well over a year now. Pleasant enough if you don’t think about what you’d rather be doing. Like you, playing the cards he’s been dealt as best he can. Karl Norris reported his programming experience in the College of Quantitative Studies led him, when drafted, to a computer research group and on to a career in corporate IT. Retired and in Bloomfield, Connecticut, enjoying the blues harmonica, online courses, one indulgent wife, two daughters, one granddaughter, and five “grandpets.” He plans to move to Edinburgh if things get much crazier here. Stuart Ober’s son, Alexander, is a member of Wes’s class of 2026. Lovely lunch with Chris and Gary Wanerka ’62, a retired pediatrician. Going strong: They went on a Memphis-to–New Orleans cruise.

Good chat with Rich Kremer ’69: Wonderful kids and grands spread around the world—North Carolina, Denver, London, and South Korea—so he is somewhat cuddle deprived. We laughed: When Andrea retired from Dartmouth, her department gave her the august title of “visiting scholar” (so she can use the library). He’s been part of a religious discussion group for 18 years, via Zoom of late.

These notes appear months after I write them, so my coverage is always dated but: Ken Kawasaki ’69, after time in France and some teaching in Japan, has, with his wife Visakha, long headed the Buddhist Relief Mission in the hill country of Sri Lanka and reports their area suffers from “serious shortages of petrol, cooking gas, rice, other staples, and medicines . . .  regular power shortages. On top of this, inflation is rampant. People, hungry and angry, are protesting every day.  Because COVID-19 is still spreading, we are basically staying home, but still connected with good folk, who are helping us provide dry rations and basic medicines for those who are in great need.” For information on their work, contact kawasaki@brelief.org.

The boys in the boat—John Lipsky, Wallace Murfit, Coach Phil Calhoun ’62, MALS ’69, Bob Svensk, Nason Hamlin, Harrison Knight, Karl Norris, and myself—celebrated restarting the crew, and enjoying more success than we had any right to, by reuniting in Middletown in October. Sandy See lost his son Karl, 51, in September to cardiac arrest. Karl was a charming, loyal friend and colleague with an endearing sense of humor who had a fulfilling career in development for nonprofits and loved all aspects of New England’s outdoors. Our condolences. Terry Fralich is “doing well on this little piece of paradise that surrounds our home” (in Saco, Maine). I have visited and that is an accurate characterization of his place. Has two homes on the property, one for Terry and Rebecca, the other for his sister and her partner. Semiretired, Terry, informed by Tibetan Buddhism, counsels half-time and teaches at a mindfulness center.

Sometimes I worry about my adolescent enthusiasm for Wes Tech. Passed up some big names when I chose Wes because I thought I would be treated with more respect and kindness there. And I wasn’t disappointed. Got you guys—the most diverse, interesting, and accomplished group of characters with whom I’ve ever associated—as a bonus.

CLASS OF 1968 | 2022 | FALL ISSUE

Caught up with Dan Wood ’67: As Nason Hamlin put it, Dan, inspired by the English exchange student, Peter Harborow ’64, along with the late Mike Tine ’67, “did foundational work that was not flashy but essential for the early crew—like convincing local utility to give us telephone poles for the construction of our dock.” Became an endocrinologist (Columbia and UConn); then two years practicing among Hopi and Navajo as an alternative to Vietnam. Moved to Bath, Maine, in 1978. Happily married to an attorney who practiced elder law. Two daughters: one a Yalie who rowed in U.S. national boat a couple of years. In retirement, he is helping build a reproduction of the Virginia, the first boat built by Englishmen in North America.

Rick Voigt recently published a novel, My Name on a Grain of Rice. From Amazon: “Harry Travers walks away from the manicured future his disintegrating, moneyed family had envisioned for him so that he could feel the rush of making something out of nothing. That something would be himself.” Eighty-four percent of the Amazon reviewers gave it five stars. The author is a lawyer (UVA). After working for the solicitor general in D.C., he moved to Connecticut and went into private practice focusing on workplace issues. In “retirement,” he has some college gigs (including Wes).

Vic Hallberg spent 11 years as a Lutheran minister serving parishes in Vermont and Minnesota (where, now retired, he lives) before shifting into the marketing of high-tech medical equipment. Vic has stayed close to Eric Conger, a Hoboken-based playwright, Bob Helsel, a retired IT consultant in Boulder, and Rick Voigt. The four of them (with wives) vacation together in, for example, the Adirondacks and Moab.

Amby Burfoot of Mystic, Connecticut, the 1968 winner of the Boston Marathon and former editor of Runner’s World, competed in his 59th consecutive Manchester (Connecticut) Road Race, a Thanksgiving Day event that draws about 10,000 runners from around the world. He said that any “lucky dude” can win Boston, but you have to be “pretty mean and gnarly” to run 59 Manchesters. He runs these days because he is not ready to “sit on the front porch and drink lemonade or something stronger.”

John Kepner, with a friend, is producing The Race to Social Justice podcast series. In one, John is interviewed on his coming to comprehend white privilege. Ray Solomon figures prominently in another. John’s hope is that candid, compelling discussions about race will help “each of us in our personal journey in addressing racism.” Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and others.

Jeff Talmadge, after 47 years in Wellesley, moved to East Orleans. Bob Ziegenhagen is living in an Episcopal senior living center in Bloomfield, Connecticut. Nice chat with Bill Currier ’69. Still learning things about one another. Bob Reisfeld’s older daughter made him a grandfather last year. His younger daughter got married in August. Though it irked the hell out of Ellen, Wallace Murfit became president of his rowing club, a position with a lot of work and no money that no one else would take. John Lipsky said all his children and all his grands live in Brooklyn. Bill Nicholson’s #1 son has retired. Bill hasn’t. Few years back, saw Peter Corbin, a renown, wildlife painter, who was in Jacksonville for a commission. Received Bill van den Berg’s holiday letter—a beautiful collage of photographs and text re his 2021. In June, Judy and I celebrated our 50th. Most meaningful accomplishment of my life.

Steve Beik died June 29, 2021, in Longwood, Florida. At Wes, a basketball player and ace tennis player (Pennsylvania State high school champion) who, in time, turned to golf. An attorney (Vanderbilt), he was a prominent figure in GOD TV, a worldwide “evangelical Christian media network” (Wikipedia). Described in his obituary as a quiet and reserved “yet passionate to see the Lord use the media to reach the lost.”

Mary Thompson, Greg Willis’s sister, wrote me: Greg died April 28, 2019, “by his own hand. . . .”  The family believes the overwhelming power of PTSD finally caused him to take the actions he did. He served for 11 months on the ground in Vietnam and was never quite the same after those traumatic months. . . . Returning from Vietnam, he completed his MBA at Columbia then worked for the Bank of New York and Prudential Bache before retiring early to the family farm in Vermont. . . . He loved the land and walked almost all of it every day. . . .  He became involved in the local Baptist church. . . .  A train buff, he also collected antique farm tools, mostly from our family, farmers back through generations. He had a good life.”

CLASS OF 1968 | 2022 | SPRING ISSUE

Sam Davidson, whose exquisite art gallery is in Seattle, touched base with Dick Emerson, a Connecticut lawyer, about Wes’s NESCAC championship basketball team.

Noteworthy exchange: Bob Svensk: “Athletes row—everyone else just plays games.” Bob Isard: “Sorry to have to remind you: Rugby players eat their dead.”

I have had a tough stretch this summer/autumn: Took some falls; broke one hip and a couple of ribs; fractured the other hip. Operation, then extended rehab. Can’t really stand or walk much. Ended up in assisted living—not an easy adjustment (food is terrible).  But no one ever said life would be easy. Sustained by many friends and Judy has been a freakin’ saint. I am the beneficiary of her competence and love every day. I have a lot of limitations and have to figure things out, including how to best continue to serve as your secretary.

On top of that, my brother/only sibling died unexpectedly in December. The product of the same sad family and too harsh boarding school; we were very close.