Tag: 1956

It’s been slim pickings this time around for our class notes.

But first, I’m sad to report that Al Grosman died on May 22 in Hingham, Massachusetts, where he and his wife of 55 years, Bette, had retired. He spent most of his life in New Jersey, where he practiced law with his family law firm and dabbled in local politics. He wrote a much-used textbook, New Jersey Family Law, and was involved in the Baby M surrogacy case. Baby M, incidentally, attended and graduated from—mercifully with little fanfare—the school district in which my Ann was a school nurse, but they were never in the same building together. Al, a self-described “world traveler and scholar of world history,” spoke Spanish, Portuguese, and French, and studied German, Romanian, Catalan, and Ladino. He loved folk music of all kinds and enjoyed playing the piano for family sing-alongs. He is survived by Bette, two daughters, Carol and Ellen, their spouses, and two granddaughters. Al was a loyal Wes grad (Phi Beta Kappa!) and a regular attender of our ’56 reunions. He will be missed.

Art von Au writes: “I recently read Vinod Busjeet’s (’73) novel Silent Winds, Dry Seas, which was featured in the Wesleyan Alumni Magazine (Winter 2021–2022). What an extraordinary gift! Set in Mauritius in the 1960s and 70s, it is a coming-of-age story. Wesleyan readers will recognize clues as his years at ‘Yale’ are a stand-in for Wesleyan. His novel has won widespread praise from some foremost American writers, and I recommend this remarkable novel to all Wesleyan readers. Perhaps the reading/discussion group that I have led for almost 50 years (now meeting on Zoom) will read it in the future.

“In family news, we have welcomed two great-grandsons this past year. Our three oldest grandchildren are all launched into jobs and family life, while the three youngest will all be in college this coming year. One granddaughter will be a junior at the University of Vermont and [another] a senior at Connecticut College. Our youngest grandson will be a freshman at Endicott College.

“We have enjoyed reading your family news and travels and hope that all is well with you.”

From Jim Gramentine: “Back in early June, I attended my 70th high school reunion at Western Reserve Academy. Regrettably, only one other ’52er was there, he a fine fellow, though an Amherst Mammoth. (Lord Jeff was done in by political correctness.) Depression born, only 38 graduated with us, but three others matriculated with me at Wesleyan: Bob Loos, Pete Schellenbach ’59, and Bill Mathews.”

And Bob Bretscher: “Thanks for keeping the Class of ’56 in touch. Unfortunately, I’m not communicating with anyone in our class at the moment. I’ll try to improve on this unintended situation soon. I’m still healthy, and happy to have just finished my self-published autobiography. My next task is to look into moving into a nearby retirement facility called ‘Presbyterian Village Athens’ sometime in the next 12 months. My best to you and other Wesmen.”

Last, but not least, Dick Bauer: “A celebration of life for Alan Grosman was held here at Linden Ponds on June 8th. Al not only distinguished himself in the field of family law, but in family life as well.

“No really great newsworthy stories from us. Ginny and I are faring pretty well. One of my quirky projects has been playing monthly piano concerts exploring various corners of the American Songbook.  Keeps me distracted from the world’s misery for a while.

“Good to learn about your family travels . . . even more to sense the warmth and strength of your family ties, and your stamina to relish them.

“Warm regards to my fellow Wes ’56ers.”

I have some space, so here’s what Art and Dick referenced.

Our whole family—one daughter, two sons, one daughter-in-law, one granddaughter, and a girlfriend—took us on a whirlwind tour of New York State: Cobleskill (my hometown); Cooperstown; Letchworth State Park (“The Grand Canyon of the East”), where we rented a house near Inspiration Point; Frank Lloyd Wright’s Martin House in Buffalo; and Niagara Falls (U.S. and Canadian sides). Along the way we visited with cousins, went to the Baseball Hall of Fame, rode the Maid of the Mist, and drove over the Peace Bridge from Buffalo to Fort Erie, Canada—my father’s major project between graduating from RPI and going back to China. In Cooperstown’s Doubleday Café, son David got down on one knee to reprise his 1999 proposal there to Cheryl, which she again accepted—to a hearty round of applause from one and all. All of this was to compensate us for our COVID-canceled Ireland tour of 2020. The younger set subsequently used our once frozen fares to tour Scandinavia. They just came home—all but one with COVID. We love them still.

I most regretfully report that Tom Plimpton died on September 1, 2021, in Indianapolis. He is survived by his wife of 65 years, Judy, and two daughters, Liz and Kate. I last heard from Tom in July. He was, as always, upbeat, while reporting that he was awaiting surgery for his cancer. And, as always, he signed off with “peace and joy,” a reflection of his steadfast faith.

Don Gerardi remembers: “Sad to hear about Tom. We were fraternity brothers. He was invariably cheerful, sensitive to the needs of others, open to new ideas, clear thinking, and judicious on contemporary issues. I’m grateful to have known him.”

From Jim Wagner: “I am sorry to hear this news. I didn’t know Tom closely when we were undergraduates but did enjoy the occasional contacts, both during and after our graduation. It is sad to say goodbye for now to a Christian brother, but there is comfort and a peaceful joy in knowing that we will meet again with the Lord.

“There is nothing particularly new to share about myself right now except that my wife and I are enjoying reasonably healthy senior years, with relatively minor health issues from time to time; we are well treated by an excellent local health-care system that has kept them from becoming major!  Still under some restrictions, both where we are living and at the church we are attending, due to COVID, but modern technology, with Zoom and livestream, keeps us from being isolated.”

And Bob Calvin: “So sorry to hear about Tom. Tom and I shared the fact that we both came from the Midwest and were totally unprepared for the eastern culture at Wesleyan. I think we traveled back and forth to Middletown once. We did not know each other too well on campus or after graduation, but we did have these long conversations occasionally about life, love, philosophy, and religion.

“Not too much new here. We have stayed well. I continue to swim and hit tennis balls once a week. After showing our vaccination documents, we have attended a number of performances of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, Lyric Opera, and Joffrey Ballet. We Zoom regularly with our daughter and granddaughter, who live in NYC, and once every few months with Art and Ronna von Au. As winter has settled in, I have read several books about Native Americans: The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich and There There by Tommy Orange. Good stuff—interesting and well written.”

­­­Writes Bob Bretscher, “Snow now falling in Athens, Georgia, my home for over 40 years. No plans for ‘the home.’  Given up tennis; considering pickleball. An autobiography of my first 65 years, What Took You So Long?, is going to the publisher in a couple weeks. It probably won’t be reviewed by the Times. The big question: Will our next reunion be real or virtual?  Stay healthy and find out. I’m starting to hear those first notes of ‘the bugle call.’”

From John Foster: “The old song ‘Don’t Get Around Much Anymore’ pretty much describes our life today. My dear wife struggles with arthritis, so we gave up traveling to Florida for a winter break. It doesn’t bother me; I like our New England winters and enjoy snowplowing our drive and gazing out back into a small Audubon sanctuary. We still live at 61 Nanepashemet Street, our 51st year. It’s a bit of work—with the help of a strong man who does some of the heavy, and now some of the not so heavy, stuff—but it keeps me upright. My health is pretty good. I was most fortunate to dodge a real bullet, ALZ, thanks to a participation in an experimental drug trial, which has since followed a twisted path. I’m so lucky to lose only some memory. May we all survive the bedeviling atmosphere in this country and the devil himself, and may our country heal and find a way through the troubling perplexities of the world order. Best to all who can read this, and blessings to those who cannot.”

Back to Tom Plimpton: Like me, Tom was a proud legacy—a grandson, son, and younger brother of Wesleyan men. Living at opposite ends of the campus, he and I were not intimate, but we were friendly, and our encounters on campus always brightened my day. I last saw Tom years ago at a reunion. I was returning to the main campus from the Zilkha Gallery when I came upon Tom, deep in thought, contemplating the grassy, empty space that had once been the site of the Delta Tau Delta house. I took a picture, which I can’t find now, but which I’ll never forget.

Rest in peace, Tom, and in joy.

Our May Reunion was a qualified success. Owing to the pandemic, of course, we couldn’t gather together on the campus, but we did the next best thing—we met on Zoom. Participation was limited; 21 steadfast classmates on screen: Dick Bauer, Bill Bixby, Dick Boyden, Bob Bretscher, Bob Calvin, Pete Gardiner, Art Goodkind, Jim Gramentine, Al Haas, Dick Irwin, Jay Kaplan, Jim Katis, Larry La Brie, Sandy Mendelson, Mort Paterson, Phil Trager, Dave Thompson, Art von Au, Jim Wagner, Paul Weston, and yours truly had a lively exchange of news, memories, and aspirations for our post-COVID future. Unable to attend but sending their greetings were Bill Horrocks, Guy DeFrances, and Dave Wolf. I was impressed by the general sense of optimism from a group that has been around, as Bill Horrocks observed, for four scores and seven years. I also marveled at the number of classmates who have, like Ann and me, lived in our current residences for 55 years or more. A particular highlight of the event was Mort Paterson’s show of his recent paintings. Best of all was the prevailing attitude that “We ought to do this again.” Which we should—when the stars align correctly. Kudos to my fellow Reunion committee members (Boyden, Irwin, Thompson) who hashed out the format, and sincere thanks to alma mater’s stalwart staff for making it happen.

Dick Bauer’s assessment: “Like you, I thought it was a rather good reunion given the Zoom parameter. What pleased me was the number of our classmates engaged in public enrichment initiatives despite our advanced ages.”

Al Haas writes: “Thank you once again for your integral contribution to keeping the ’56ers connected. The recent cyber-reunion efforts on the part of the University staff with your involvement resulted in a wonderful walk down memory lane and surely a ‘bucket list’ item for many, including me. I am not sanguine that my classmates need to hear that I am still engaged fully with our business of working with high school students on the school and college application process, which is increasingly vexing, competitive, and wrought. Our interest from the outset was to provide guidance to qualified international students from around the world who wanted to study in America. I learned from living and traveling abroad that many top students were attending third-rate colleges, a clear mismatch not good for the American image worldwide. I intend to keep it up as long as I have ‘fooled’ our students that I know what I am talking about. After all, it takes a young one to detect a phony. So far, so good. Warm regards to one and all.”

From Jim Wagner: “Things are slowly returning to normal around here. The church my wife and I attend had its first full set of all ‘in person’ services on July 4, a dual celebration of our independence from Britain and COVID-19! Some of the nice concerts in the area are returning, either this summer or next fall. We hope to attend some with friends, as we no longer need a car and there are close to a hundred clubs and activities right here where we live!”

Tom Plimpton had “two things to report: I had my bladder cancer surgically removed in July. (2) On Saturday, July 3, my two daughters, Liz and Katie, went to Minnesota for one week to a resort owned by a cousin of ours. Keep up the good work—peace and joy.”

Get well, Tom. We’re all pulling for you.

Jay Kaplan’s daughter has informed us of the sad and startling news of her father’s unexpected death on September 1. We last “saw” Jay during our Zoom reunion in May. He seemed then to be, as always, energetic, enthusiastic, and fully engaged. He was a generous contributor to this column, because, of course, he had much to convey. It’s safe to say that in his 87 years, Jay didn’t waste a single one of them. He will surely be missed. His obituary can be seen in The Washington Post. Our hearts go out to Samantha, her brother Lael, and to Ann, his bride of 57 years.

Incidentally, I’ve retrospectively given our Reunion a handle: Fifty-six’s sixty-fifth [56’s 65th]. My spreadsheet tells me that a quasi-palindromic reunion is a once-a-century phenomenon! I’ll send you a copy if you need proof.