We started planning our 50th Reunion about four years ago. At that time, before such things as COVID became part of our lives, the reunion seemed a very long way away. Then, somehow, the day came and it happened. And now it’s over. Ignoring the sad fact that we’ll never get so many of us together again, we can all rejoice in the fact that our committee put together a wonderful event, which all present seemed to enjoy. Plus, we had at least 94 class members there, which has been officially acknowledged as the new record for attendance at a Wes 50th.
We are going to do whatever possible to keep this spirit going. Some committee members are looking into starting our own class website, featuring photos, videos, updates to the class book, anything of interest. We will be holding a series of periodic Zoom get-togethers. And I, living fairly close to Middletown, plan on attending future Reunion weekends and urge the rest of you to do likewise.
The key observation of the weekend was that of Bruce Hearey, who was amazed that they had added so many hills to the campus since our time. I agreed. The days when I would happily jaunt between Lawn Avenue and the Center for the Humanities are now ancient history. Going from place to place at our reunion, following similar efforts a few weeks before at the ’70–’71 belated 50th, gave me a set of foot, back, and leg issues that led me to make some great new friends among the western Connecticut podiatry and physical therapy community. I am now happy to report that it all worked and am now no longer acting my age. I’ll be ready for next year!
I had not realized that Maxon Davis had left Wesleyan until I looked to the left of me at graduation and saw someone else sitting there. I had a great chat with him prior to the Alumni Parade, and he sent me the attached update, which I have shortened somewhat:
“I left Wesleyan one week into the second semester of our sophomore year, and drove out to Berkeley, California, in late March 1970, to enroll there for the spring quarter 1970. It was of course just a few weeks before the invasion of Cambodia and Kent State. I listened with interest to the discussion at Reunion of the strike at Wesleyan that spring. By contrast, all hell broke loose in Berkeley. There were riots and a reactive heavy police presence on campus. After having been tear-gassed twice, I decided that prudence dictated that I keep a respectful distance from the more active protesters. Classes were canceled, and I received multiple Bs for minimal effort that first quarter at Cal.
“Even though I had taken a leave of absence from Wesleyan, I decided to stay at Cal, for multiple reasons, one of which was of course the fact that Cal was fully co-educational. Along that line, I met my wife Kristina during the winter quarter of 1972—my senior year. She was the third woman whom I asked out in our agricultural economics class (in which I had enrolled mostly because it fit nicely between a PE class and the UC Lacrosse Club’s practice). I would show up for that class in my infrequently laundered workout clothes, with my lacrosse stick and a duffle bag of gear. Out of respect for my classmates, I sat by myself in the back of the room. The first two girls in the class whom I asked for a date wouldn’t go out with me. Being the product of a Catholic girls’ school in San Francisco, Kristina had no idea what lacrosse was and foolishly asked me about the strange wooden ‘club’ I was bringing to class. I explained and invited her to watch me play the coming weekend in San Francisco. Since she was looking for a ride home that Saturday, she accepted. After the game, she asked me to take her home and invited me in for dinner with her family, which she claims was more out of being polite than affection. The truth was probably in-between. We married in August 1974. Two kids and one grandchild later, I am happy that she asked me about my lacrosse stick.
“After a relatively aimless year, I applied to law schools in 1973. I did so not out of any long-standing desire to be a lawyer. Rather it seemed like a suitable means to postpone the inevitable decision about what I would do for the rest of my life. I applied to six or seven geographically dispersed law schools with the overriding criterion being that it be the best law school in its area, so I would have a good chance of getting a job when I graduated. On that basis I elected to attend the University of Montana Law School, in Missoula (being that it was—and is—the only law school in Montana). Academics again had nothing to do with that decision. I drove up from Berkeley in September 1973, and essentially have never left. I quickly fell in love with Montana.
“I accepted a position at a three-man law firm in Great Falls in 1976. The third lawyer in the firm left 60 days after my arrival. Since there was then work enough for four lawyers, I enjoyed a true baptism under fire. Forty-six years later, I am the senior guy in the same firm, now with six lawyers and named (since 1996) Davis, Hatley, Haffeman and Tighe, PC. I have the most diverse law practice of anyone whom I know. I love what I do and have no plans to retire.
“Kristina and I live on 4 acres on the Missouri River, 6 miles south of Great Falls. In my spare time, I ski, fly-fish, and hike (along with seemingly never-ending yard work May–October).
“Looking back over the span of 50-plus years, I concede that I have made a number of decisions in my life for what were—simply put—the wrong reasons. (That does not include asking Kristina to marry me.) That said, even if my motivation to act has been wrong numerous times, the results have been uniformly positive. (That very definitely does include marrying Kristina.) So, life has been and remains good.”
Paul Edelberg sent us an update, most of which follows:
“First, the most important moment of my adult life was marrying my college sweetheart, Laura, who was introduced to me by the one and only Leon Vinci. We have had a beautiful marriage, especially because she has put up with me for all those years! Laura and I have two wonderful daughters, one in NYC and one in Seattle. Both doing well and still have a tight grip on my heartstrings. The one in Seattle is getting married this fall, so much excitement in the Edelberg household. The only bummer is that my brother Jay, class of ’69 (for those of you who knew him at Wes), passed away last fall and will be sorely missed at the wedding.
“The only dilemma with my daughter’s wedding is that she is marrying a Yankees fan. I am an avid and fanatic Red Sox fan. I had ‘prohibited’ my daughter from marrying a Yankee fan, but there is where my influence over my younger daughter stops. Not only is her fiancé an avid Yankee fan, he runs baseball marketing for T-Mobile, one of the biggest sponsors of Major League Baseball. However, he has bribed me with playoff tickets and tickets to the first row of the Green Monster, and it is working! My relationship with my future son-in-law is starting to be defined!
“I have been a practicing corporate and finance attorney in NYC and Connecticut all these years, which is somewhat ironic for those of you who knew me at Wes. I wasn’t the best behaved during my years there. In fact, when I took the bar exam in Connecticut, a fellow Wes grad ran into me and said I was one of the last people he expected to see taking the bar exam! So, things change! There is not a lot of glamour, nor many exciting events, in practicing corporate and finance law, so no great stories to tell. So, I’ll share just a couple of more recent experiences.
“I have been fortunate to have enjoyed my legal career, at which I am still hard at work. In the last 20 years, I expanded my practice to an international corporate practice, with a specialty on China business matters. I became co-chair of the China Committee of the International Law Section of the American Bar Association and write and lecture on China, which until the pandemic I visited frequently. I also am the former president on the Connecticut China Council, which is responsible for handling Connecticut’s sister state relationship with Shandong Province. So, if any of you have an interest in China, we can share thoughts and experiences over the weekend.
“Most recently I have gotten involved in the International Law Section’s special committee to help Afghan lawyers and judges who have fled Afghanistan become acclimated to the practice of law principally in the U.S. but also in other Western countries. I was incredibly moved by the efforts of two female U.S. federal judges who had been involved in training female Afghan judges pre-Taliban, only to see some of these Afghan judges executed by the Taliban for trying male defendants. These two U.S. federal judges were able, through the International Women Judge’s Association, to extract approximately 150 of these female judges out of Afghanistan, with more still there. I was fortunate to meet one of these two U.S. judges at a recent event. I also met a male Afghan lawyer who had assisted the U.S. Army in Afghanistan and who had just arrived in the U.S. after being in hiding for six months, with the Taliban FaceTiming him with the message that they were looking for him. Interesting and suspenseful story on how he got out. It puts our cushy lives in perspective. The section’s committee is focused on all Afghan lawyers and judges, although I am going to try to focus on helping in my small way the female Afghan judges resettle. Some are still trying to get out of Afghanistan.”
Harry Glasspiegel sent the following, to remind us that he is, or at least was, a literary man:
“I wrote a one-line poem for Richard Wilbur’s amazing poetry class our senior year. The title was ‘Muse’ and it read simply, ‘an us inside me’ (realized sitting in Clark Hall trying to think of a poem to turn in for the class that the word muse has ‘us’ inside ‘me’). I wrote Professor Wilbur 40 years after we graduated, mentioned the poem to him and how much I appreciated his class. A few weeks later I received a postcard back from him (he was in his late 80s/early 90s, retired in Cummington, Massachusetts, at the time). Typed with his signature IBM typewriter, it began, ‘It was just the other day that I cited without attribution the us within the muse . . . .‘” 😊
Lex Burton sent us the following sobering note. I have to say that Lex looked as well as ever at the reunion, and I hope it continues:
“As with most of us, our time at Wesleyan was pivotal in our lives. Some of you may remember, I was on the five-year plan. At the beginning of our junior year, I realized I was mostly dubbing around academically, and left school to be a subject in a study of ‘high-ability’ college dropouts at Hahnemann Hospital in Philadelphia. I needed some time to mature and grow some confidence in myself in areas other than athletics; I was reasonably successful; successful enough to be more focused and productive when I returned to Wesleyan a year later.
“In my first two years at Wesleyan I made good friends, played some sports, had some dates, listened to great music, etc. Though I don’t regret those experiences, I do regret the many missed learning opportunities. On my return to Wesleyan, positive experiences continued but this time, accompanied by academic focus. Enough so that I was able to graduate. High points of my four years were the friendships I made, some of which continue and many more I wish had/would. There were the ball games, concerts, late-night cards, pool, room parties, and many stimulating/challenging conversations. I was excited by many of my courses as well. During my first two years I regularly went on road trips to socialize. I made no road trips my last two years. While I expect most small New England colleges would have provided a positive experience, I do think Wesleyan is unique. It is an environment of acceptance. Any angst I had was mostly of my own doing and not from other students, faculty, or administration. My son who graduated in ’04 had a similarly positive experience.
“After graduation, I spent time in Portland, Oregon, as a salesman, not my cup of tea. Then I taught at a Quaker school in Atlantic City. I realized I liked being an educator, especially of the needier, more challenging students. Subsequently, I then got a doctorate from Rutgers in school/child psychology, where I studied my ass off. I moved to Vermont, worked for 10 years at a community mental health center, and later, had an active private practice for 10 years. I spent the next 15 years consulting with schools regarding students with academic and behavioral needs. It was hard work, especially dealing with educators and bureaucrats who did not see things as clearly as I did, naturally. Mostly it was fulfilling and I looked forward to going to work each day, which is a blessing.
“I was married in 1979, settled in Randolph, Vermont, and had two children, Matt and Ian, with my first wife Corky. Twenty years later, we divorced, and a few years after that, I met my present wife Cathi. Cathi was totally infatuated with me, and riding on that ego high, we quickly became nearly inseparable. Little did I know she’d be nothing but a pain in the ass. My sons tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen. (My wife inserted this when she edited my first draft and she is not a pain in the ass, she is a pain in the neck).
“My son Matt teaches at the University of Pittsburgh, and Ian is working on careers as a musician or a forester, whichever flourishes first. As I am sure those of you who have kids would agree, the birth of children is a seminal moment in one’s life. Ian and his partner, Emily, just shared that experience themselves, welcoming their first child, and my first grandchild, Adrienne. My son Matt and his wife (more so his wife) are also pregnant.
“Another seminal moment in my life was being diagnosed with terminal cancer two and a half years ago. The initial prognosis was 6 to 9 months, later changed to 12 to 18 months. It is a strange and time-consuming business preparing for death; emotionally, financially, socially, physically. In an instant, my life, previously focused on achievement, changed to a desire to strengthen and expand relationships with family and friends.
“Currently, I am not cancer free, but my oncologist is making no predictions. I get scans every couple of months and we are hoping I am tumor free for many years to come.”
And this, from Michael Arkin:
“The Kiss Me Kate National Tour concluded in June 2002. I returned to New York to the still smoking pile of rubble of the World Trade Center. It was clear the world of my hometown, and the feeling that we were isolated from the troubles of the world, were gone, never to return. My life as an actor was also changing. There were some commercials, some TV and film work, a summer spent in Aspen, Colorado, in a musical Lies & Legends, the songs of Harry Chapin—that was a blast. But by 2005 I realized a reinvention was in order. Morag was buying, renovating, and selling houses in Hudson. The real estate market was on fire in NYC. I enrolled in a real estate course and got a license to sell property. At a seminar in the spring of 2006, the panel featured an actress I had been in an off-Broadway play with 20 years before. I went to her office to talk about real estate companies I was considering joining. She added her firm to my list and introduced me to the owner, Fred Peters, who offered me a desk at Warburg Realty in Tribeca. My first day on the job there was an email in my new inbox from a guy named Steve Goldschmidt saying, ‘You must be the Mike Arkin I went to Wesleyan with!’ Thus began a wonderful adventure selling apartments in co-ops, condominiums, and townhouses, in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. As a boy raised in the Outer Boroughs, and as an actor in a street theater company that played all over Brooklyn, I know a great deal about many parts and aspects of New York City. “Winning the confidence of buyers or sellers is an art, a function of demonstrating not just knowledge, but using my actor skill set to understand my clients’ character, their dreams and fears, and to translate that into a coherent plan. I get to see Steve a lot and that is fun; he has been a great friend. Morag moved on from the renovation business and now sells real estate in Hudson where she lives mostly full time. We have a flat in Long Island City where I camp while plying my trade in town. This was written after attending the 50th Reunion. The return to campus and Middletown, reconnecting with so many dear, good former classmates and their partners, was such a joy. We are so glad we were there to join in the laughter, tears, and life stories, and to reminisce about that formative time 50 years ago. Love, peace, and all good things attend you all.”
Scott Sprouse must be old-fashioned. He sent me a handwritten update. So much for cutting and pasting. I am not going to retype the whole thing, but since it is replete with Sprousian aphorisms I am going to scan it and you will be able to peruse it in this all-electronic edition. But here are some highlights:
Scott went to Yale Graduate School at Wes, writing his MA thesis on “The Essential and the Existent: The Two-fold Source of Knowing in Aristotle’s Metaphysics.” However, in view of the discouraging job markets for PhDs, Scott got his MBA from Columbia (“the finishing school for sociopaths”). He worked in New York for Wharton Econometrics (really the Penn Economics Department), where he was the top salesman, taking away 79 accounts from competition while losing only four in a three-year span (“But who’s counting?”). Scott’s Colombian wife had their son and daughter playing soccer (“dance with a purpose”), so they got athletic scholarships, and are now, respectively, a lieutenant commander in the navy and a marketer with white-shoe law firms. Scott says they are still of liberal disposition and points out that his stepdaughter is a bad-ass union organizer. Scott has had some health issues but is “still above the ground” in New Smyrna Beach, Florida.
Finally, some bad news. Frank Benson passed away this summer. He had recently retired from his career as a physician in Decatur, Alabama, where he specialized in addiction medicine, among other things. Various friends on Facebook remembered him as a hardworking premed student, and as the “Mississippi Mover” on WESU.
